In May of 1995, we lost my father-in-law to pancreatic cancer. It was a short 3 month battle from the time they diagnosed it until the day he passed. In April as he lay in a hospital bed in Houston, Texas he told me and my husband that we would have to take care of my MIL. At the time we thought he meant take care of her after he passed away but I have come to feel like he meant take care of her because of the disease. Even 16 years ago, she was showing signs of early onset.
I reflect back to the conversation we had with the neurologist during her testing when she said her goal was to live by herself and take care of herself. So, every day that she is with us we strive to accomplish that goal. The promise made to my FIL to take care of my MIL was more of a challenge than we could have ever imagined.
In our house we have found, sticky notes equal independence for a person with Alzheimer's. We can leave sticky notes or notes on the counter to remind her of things she needs to do. For example, every day she rides the bus to the Senior Citizen Center but they come after my husband and I have to leave for work. We have a system where we place sticky notes on the doors telling her which door to leave from and to lock it when she returns. This way she can feel some what independent in coming and going. We tried taking and picking her up but could tell it made her feel like she was being a burden.
Another example, is leaving her notes on the counter telling her to wear a coat because of the weather. It sounds silly to us but to her she does not know what month it is, what the temperature is, or how to make the decisions about what to wear. I felt uncomfortable at first having to tell her, gently, that she might want to wear something warmer or more appropriate for the event. I quickly found that she would just go back upstairs and change or add a layer. I think she would rather us tell her than be embarrassed by not being dressed appropriately.
Just another day in the life of........life is good.
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