Tell Those Sick People to Go Home

March 2020 who would have ever thought we would have a pandemic that literally shut down the country!  I can't say it's anything any of us could have ever predicted.

I remember it was around March 8th when we got a phone call from the facility telling us that we could not visit my MIL as they were "locking down" the home due to COVID-19.  They told us we could face time her or call her but they were not allowing visitors.  The difficulty for us is that my MIL doesn't understand the technology.  It's difficult to keep her attention long enough for a call or to even sit still long enough for the call.

Mother's day we went to see her and asked if the nurses would allow her to come outside in the courtyard.  We stood on the other side of the fence which we could see through and talked to her.  She tried to climb the fence to come on our side and did not understand that we had to maintain proper social distance of six feet.  She kept asking us if we were going to come in to visit and when we told her we couldn't she kept asking why.  We would explain that we didn't want to get anyone sick due to the Corona virus and she said "well, all those sick people can just go home."

The nursing home tested all the residents and thank goodness no one tested positive.  Alzheimer's and a pandemic are a recipe for disaster.

How Old Am I?

Birthdays are my favorite!  I think you should have birthday weeks rather than birth "days".  My MIL turned 80 in 2019 and at this point in her disease the nursing home said its too hard for her to leave.  In the past we would take her out to eat and maybe do some shopping but the return back had gotten to be difficult.  

Christmas 2018 was the hardest.  My husband had picked her up and brought her to our house.  As emptynesters we moved from our home of 20 years to downsize in the Fall of 2018.  When we brought her for Christmas day, it totally threw her for a loop.  She did not understand where she was (Houston, Sugar Land, Frankston, Abilene, etc.) and she kept looking for her room.  It was the saddest thing to witness and of course, as soon as she ate lunch she was ready to go.

So, back to the Birthdays!  She turned 80 in July and we decided we would take her lunch, a cake and some balloons to celebrate her big birthday.  My parents who are the same age, but thankfully are in good health, were kind enough to join us.  My sister and her twins came as well.  My MIL kept asking whose birthday is it, how old am I, and making the comment that "oh, that is old" when we told her she was turning 80.  She was thrilled to have all the attention!

What's Been Going On

It's been three years since I have posted to the blog and I am truly shocked by that!  We've lived a lot of life since my last post so I will try to catch up.

In October 2018 my MIL took a fall and ended up breaking her wrist.  It was pretty bad.  We still aren't quite sure how it happened but got a call to meet her at the hospital.  At first they said it was a sprain so we spent several hours in the ER for them to wrap it up and send us on our way.  It wasn't long.....the next day.....that she re-injured it and this time we found out it was broken.

This is where it gets tricky.  It was a Friday afternoon that we met her in the ER again and the doctor said they were going to have to schedule her for surgery Saturday morning due to the severity of the break.  We sat in the ER with her for several hours while arrangements were being made and tried our best to answer her repeated questions about where was she, she wasn't sick, why can't she go home, etc.  It is the hardest thing to explain to a person who can't remember in the short term and truly does not know what is going on.

Saturday morning we got to the hospital very early for the surgery that lasted about an hour.  Thankfully she did fine with the anesthesia and the doctor said the surgery went well.  We were instructed to meet her in her room as they escorted her down a patient elevator.  We barely got off the elevator before we met her coming out of the patient elevator asking all kinds of questions and using her fingernail to try to pry the staples out of her arm.  She had unwrapped her bandage that was keeping her from bleeding and didn't understand why her arm was hurting.  This became a long journey of healing and explaining what was going on.

When we got her to her room and the nurses, thankfully one male who could handle her, were able to get her arm bandaged back up.  They gave her pain medicine which allowed her to fall asleep.  The nurses were beside themselves, as were we, about how difficult she was being ----she told one nurse "it was her arm and they couldn't tell her what to do".  It was at that point they communicated with the doctor that she was going to need to have someone sit with her 24/7 so that she would not hurt herself trying to figure out what was going on with the pain in her arm.

My husband and I stayed with her over the weekend and were able to get breaks with the sitters which was helpful.  I have always believed that something good can come of something bad.  We were disappointed because we had to cancel a weekend getaway with another couple when the MIL took the fall and was hospitalized.  For the first time, I had some real feelings of frustration and at one point had a little pity party.  It ended soon enough but it was still feelings that I didn't expect and I had to have a "little talk with myself" to put things in perspective.

So, you ask, what was the good that came of something bad.  In the midst of this hospital stay, the hospital staff saw quickly the current state that my MIL was in and communicated that message to the doctor.  We raised concerns with the medical team treating her about how she would return to the nursing home given her tendency to unwrap her bandages and pick at the staples.  The doctor said he was going to write orders for her to go to a rehabilitation facility and given her Alzheimer's would recommend another facility that could do both---the facility we had originally wanted her to go to but couldn't get her in.  We were quickly visited by a social worker from the facility who assured us she would be admitted and that she could transition from a "rehab patient" to a "resident" after 30 days.  I literally broke down and cried----this is the good that came of something bad!  Praise the Lord!