Postcards from the Past

Yesterday, my MIL got mail from an old high school friend.  She stood in the kitchen and read it.  It was like watching a school girl get a love note from her boyfriend.  It was from a high school sweetheart who sent her a picture of them at prom.  I'll have to admit it was kind of random since this person is married and not someone she talks to on a regular basis even before she got Alzheimer's.  (that is that we know of....!)  Anyway, she went in and out of the kitchen carrying that card/picture saying she just couldn't believe he sent that saying....."oh, I should have married him"....."he was very handsome"......"I'm not calling him (he gave her two numbers for her to contact him)"......"he's married"......"he was such a nice boy from such a nice family".....and it went on and on like this for quite sometime that evening.  She held onto that note like it was her most treasured possession!

It dawned on me that she would get more enjoyment from this piece of mail than out of all the contact she has had with family & friends in the last 4 or 5 years.  Because she could look at the picture and remember that happy time and place from her past!

Life is Good!

The Wheels on the Bus

Independence has been a big issue with my MIL since she came to live with us.  The doctor told her she could not drive several years ago and then she was told she could not live alone.  Being a woman who was used to coming and going as she pleased when she pleased hasn't always sat well with her now that she has been "immobilized".

Post Options

The opportunity to "ride the bus" to the Senior Citizen Center every day has allowed her to feel as if she is in control of her coming and going!  This week while I was off for Spring Break I had another look at the bus ride.  Now, mind you they used to pull up out front and honk and she would come a runnin'.  But now she sits in the kitchen watching for them out the window, they pull up in the driveway, and she runs out.  Everybody on the bus greets her (I can only imagine what they are saying!) and they roll off!

Life is good!

Going Green

Just the other day we got our electric bill and were so excited to see that it had gone way down in price and overall usage!  Now that our girls are not at home I am amazed at how much water and electricity they were using!  Reliant Energy just installed the smart meters in our neighborhood so we are getting into "reading the meter" and studying the "KWH usage".

Now, I have not always been a "go green kind of gal" but my husband and I are starting to get on that band wagon.  I call it getting old more than I call it going green.  I remember being somewhat offended when my paternal grandmother, God love her, would recycle things like tin foil and the vegetable bags you got at the grocery store.  My maternal grandmother, who is 94 years of young, had a drawer designated to saving plastic butter dishes, twist ties, plastic bread bags, paper bags, and jars!  Oh, my gosh, she saved jars! I remember thinking, I don't think you have to save all of those----because how could you ever use them all!  Instead she would fill them with leftovers after our Sunday dinners at her house and send them with us to take home.

My MIL, however, was definitely not from the generation of recycle.  I don't know if she was ever frugal, thrifty, or saved anything! When she lived by herself she had a TV in every room, left lights on in every room, and kept the A/C on about 60.  When you stayed with her you froze!

Okay, so let me return for a minute back to our Reliant electric bill.  As we were analyzing usage and trying to figure out how to set the smart meter, my husband looked at the daily usage.  Guess when our peak usage was?  It was from 1pm (my MIL gets home at 1 from the Senior Center) to 5pm (we get off work at 5).  Not from 5-10pm when we are home but when my MIL is home alone!  Cracked me up!  How can one little 74 year old use the bulk of electricity in four hours a day?  She just has one lamp, a closet light, a room light, a TV she doesn't watch, our TV downstairs, and several lights in between........!

Maybe we need to teach her about "going green"!  It is what it is...... but Life is good.....over the hill!

Sunrise or Sunset

You know I have always been told that Alzheimer's patients have difficulty with short term memory but not their long term memory.  We have seen that in my MIL----she can recall details from her past to some degree but can not remember what she ate 20 minutes ago.

Yesterday my husband turned 50!  A landmark birthday!  My MIL did not remember that it was his birthday.  I noticed that she had it written on the calendar we gave her to keep in her room.  But yesterday came and went and she did not acknowledge her son's special day.  We understand and don't say anything to make her feel bad but it's still hard to know that your parent can't remember the day they brought you into the world. 

A calender is filled with twelve months that have thirty or thirty one days in each month but to an Alzheimer's patient there are no months or days just sunrises and sunsets. Alzheimer's is a cruel disease.

But, it is what it is.......life is good!

365 Days

It was a year ago today that my MIL moved into our home.  She had been living at Royal Estates, an independent living center up until that time.  Here are some highlights from her year:

1. Received her official diagnosis of Alzheimer's in May 2010.
2. Began taking Namenda in May 2010, works to delay the advancement of Alzheimer's symptoms by preventing abnormalities in glutamate, a chemical found in the brain that has been associated with a variety of physiological functions including memory and learning.
3. Diet has significantly improved- had to visit the doctor once in 8 months for sinus infection.
4. Improved Socialization- began interacting with other seniors at the Senior Citizen Center daily.
5. Marked improvement in her personality and overall outlook on life.  Does not seem as anxious about being around other people like before.
6. Attended her granddaughter's track meets, state track meet, university graduation, high school graduation, and a wedding all in one year!  She never missed a beat even if she didn't remember it later.
7. Attending church.  This is a big one for me.  She had stopped attending church for many of the same reasons she quit interacting with people.  We invite her to go with us and sometimes she does and sometimes she doesn't.  But some is better than none!

As I look back on her year, it is amazing what a difference 365 days can make.  She is a different person than the person we moved to Abilene three years ago.  She is healthy, positive, seems to be enjoying her life, and has re-engaged with her family and other people. 

Life is good.......over the hill!





 

Day Tripper

Saturday we took a day trip to see our daughter in college.  I made arrangements with my sister to check on my MIL and made arrangements for her supper.  In typical fashion, I left my MIL a note to remind her that we would be out most of the day and that my sister would be bringing her supper.

On our way back home, I called my sister to check in to see how things were going.  She said, "did you leave Jean our phone number?"  She went on to say, "she called our house and said not to worry about  bringing her supper because she would just eat a sandwich or something."  My sister was at the grocery store when she called so her husband called to tell her about the message Jean left on their answering machine.

Now, we have no idea how she got her phone number!  Because I am sure she could not remember her last name!   When my sister took her supper she asked her about the number and she said, "oh, I looked it up."

I've said it before and I will say it again, she never ceases to amaze me!


Life is good!

Birthday Wishes

Today was my birthday! It has been a great day---lots of birthday wishes from good friends, family, and co-workers---great dinner at my favorite restaurant, saw "The Kings Speech", and even had birthday cake at work! It doesn't get any better than that.

When I got home, even my MIL remembered my special day. She left me a note on the island again. I have to point out that I have been married to her son for 25 years and she misspelled my name a lot over the years----but today she got it right! She never ceases to amaze me.

Life is Good......Over the Hill!

Sticky Notes of Independence

In May of 1995, we lost my father-in-law to pancreatic cancer. It was a short 3 month battle from the time they diagnosed it until the day he passed. In April as he lay in a hospital bed in Houston, Texas he told me and my husband that we would have to take care of my MIL. At the time we thought he meant take care of her after he passed away but I have come to feel like he meant take care of her because of the disease. Even 16 years ago, she was showing signs of early onset.

I reflect back to the conversation we had with the neurologist during her testing when she said her goal was to live by herself and take care of herself. So, every day that she is with us we strive to accomplish that goal. The promise made to my FIL to take care of my MIL was more of a challenge than we could have ever imagined.

In our house we have found, sticky notes equal independence for a person with Alzheimer's. We can leave sticky notes or notes on the counter to remind her of things she needs to do. For example, every day she rides the bus to the Senior Citizen Center but they come after my husband and I have to leave for work. We have a system where we place sticky notes on the doors telling her which door to leave from and to lock it when she returns. This way she can feel some what independent in coming and going. We tried taking and picking her up but could tell it made her feel like she was being a burden.

Another example, is leaving her notes on the counter telling her to wear a coat because of the weather. It sounds silly to us but to her she does not know what month it is, what the temperature is, or how to make the decisions about what to wear. I felt uncomfortable at first having to tell her, gently, that she might want to wear something warmer or more appropriate for the event. I quickly found that she would just go back upstairs and change or add a layer. I think she would rather us tell her than be embarrassed by not being dressed appropriately.

Just another day in the life of........life is good.

You Are My Valentine

Yesterday was Valentine's Day filled with card giving, flower sending, and reaching out to tell those you love how much you care! We left my MIL a Valentine's Day card by her coffee cup so she would see it when she came down to eat breakfast.

My husband and I came home to a sweet valentine's card laying in the kitchen. Inside it said, "thanks for all you do for me". It was the sweetest thing she could have done for us. I guess she was able to get the card at the Senior Citizen Center.

I have said in earlier posts that God is at work and he has a plan for why she is staying with us. Yesterday I saw Him at work! God is Good.

Life is good.........over the hill!

Word Find

The neurologist told us almost a year ago in May that socialization is so important for someone with Alzheimer's. Through social interaction you almost force the person with Alzheimer's to try to remember the little things you encounter in daily living. As the old saying goes, practice makes perfect but in this case repetition is one way to keep the mind from losing ground too fast when it comes to dementia.

Having difficulty recalling the word to identify an object is something my MIL has had trouble with for a while now. Last night was the first time we noticed that she could not cover it up. She tried to tell a waitress at a restaurant that she wanted more chips. There were four other people at the table with us so there were several conversations going on. It took a few minutes for me to notice the waitress looking for help. My MIL finally pointed to the basket of chips and the girl understood what she was asking for. Luckily, my MIL did not get flustered or seem embarrassed which is a side effect of "forced socialization". She knows now that people understand and will help her with her memory hiccups because for many this is a natural part of life when they have dementia.

At least she got to eat some good mexican food! Life is good......

Carmel

We were told when my MIL was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's that we should get her a baby doll. I was a little puzzled by that for several reasons. One she wasn't that advanced in the disease but secondly it just sounded so mental home'ish!

For the past 11 months that she has lived with us, Carmel has become her new best friend. I now get the baby doll comment. She sits and holds Carmel all day, talks to her, lets her sleep with her, and feeds her constantly. We had to hide the dog food so she won't feed her too much.

On Super Bowl Sunday, we came home from friends to see our little Wienie dog's body weight had doubled. Her abdomen had expanded to the point that it looked like she had swallowed a watermelon. We accidentally left the dog food container in the pantry and my MIL must have fed her again.

Carmel is the happiest little wienie dog in the world! As my girls got into high school they didn't play with Carmel as much as they used to so she really enjoys all the attention my MIL gives her. Every morning when Carmel gets up she runs up the stairs to see my MIL! They both have found a new best friend!

Life is good.......over the hill!

Snow Day

Last week our campus was closed for four days which is highly unusual even for West Texas! This time off gave me another opportunity to spend time with my MIL for a longer period of time.

After the second Snow Day I could see that the disease is invading her mind more rapidly. Little things she would do throughout the day made it clear that her mind is deterioating at faster pace than before.

These are some of my observations:
1. She loves our little wienie dog,Carmel, who makes a great companion for her. She would take the dog out to go to the bathroom through the garage door and try to return through the locked back door within seconds (because it was very cold outside!).

2. Washing her hands repeatedly and almost back to back because she had held the dog. I counted 10 times in less than 30-40 minutes.

3. Within a 5-10 minute period, she would ask the same thing she just asked when she left the room earlier---at least 3-4 times in a row.

4. She wanted to help me clean so I asked her to dust and lemon oil a piece of furniture in her room. I was close enough that I could see what she was doing and she could not remember what she was supposed to do with the rag and can of polish.

5. She is becoming very childlike in her reactions to my husband, her son. I guess that is because he has had to become the parent.

6. It is becoming more and more difficult for her to carry on a conversation with people when they call because she senses that she is repeating her questions and this frustrates her.

7. Eating is another big change! When we went to the doctor in January she had lost several pounds but nothing to be concerned about according to her doctor. So I started watching to make sure she was eating. Over the four snow days, I noticed her eating three peanut butter & jelly sandwiches after she had eaten breakfast and she still ate lunch with me. So, she definitely has an appetite. But she can not make decisions or process how to look into the refrigerator to make choices about what she can eat. She knows how to fix a pb&j sandwich or cereal so that is what she will eat if we aren't there to get the food out for her.

Physically, she appears to be healthier than she has ever been. The doctor made a comment in January that he was surprised he hadn't seen her in a while----he said it had been about 8 months since she had been in. That was definitely good news--no back complaints, no headaches, no sinus infections, no coughing---amazing!

Life is Good.........