Yesterday we took my MIL shopping for a new Easter outfit. Wow, it has been a while since I took my 18 & 22 year old shopping for an Easter dress----they have finally reached the age where they prefer shopping on their own. Now, please keep in mind that I am not a big shopper myself so shopping is a chore just about anyway you slice or dice it for me!
It took two hours to convince my MIL that we were going to look for her something to wear and buy some new shoes. She kept coming downstairs asking if there was anything that she could do (I was mopping the kitchen floor) and I said no, just go get your bath and get ready. Where are we going, she asked? I would explain it again. Her response, I don't need anything surely I have some clothes at home I can wear. Then you explain that she probably needs something new and off she would go. Back upstairs to wonder around back and forth from her bedroom to the bathroom. A few minutes later her she came back downstairs again to see if there was anything she could do. This went on for about two hours.
By the time we were ready to go she hadn't even taken a bath. My husband went to check on her and told her she needed to get ready. We never really know for sure what she does when she is in the bathroom but we can see signs of hygiene---deodorant, toothbrush wet, etc.
Off to The Mall---what an experience. We went to Dillards, The Shoe Department, Bealls, and J.C.Penneys to look for her something to wear. We were lucky that the first store we went to we found something that fit and looked good on her. She was very anxious about buying and kept asking why she needed that because she probably had something at home she could wear. So, one task down and one to go.
Shoes----oh, my ,oh, my!! This was very difficult. I knew she always had trouble finding shoes narrow enough for her to wear but I didn't realize that most of the stores now only carry medium widths and don't even carry many narrow sizes. This really upset her when every store we went into told us they didn't carry narrows. After getting quite frustrated she said well I will just wear the shoes I have on. We would say, no, we will find you some that are black; she would say, these are black, we would say, no, they are blue; she would say, but the sales guy sold them to me black; no response. Then she would say, I will just polish them black and wear them. This went on over and over and over. We did find a pair at Dillards that were black and did fit her---probably not to her standard but they looked good and were new. Making a decision and eliminating choices was very challenging at best for her.
But when we got home she did seem excited to have a new outfit. It's one thing to have dementia and not really know what is going on at all times but it is quite another thing to still have some pride and human dignity---this is for sure for a person who always cared very much about how she looked. It was a long adventure but it was worth it.
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