I work at a university so I am off for the next two weeks. This is good or this is bad depending on who you are! My daughter who is home from college loves it because we can hang out and of course, shop! My MIL, however, may not be as excited about me being home because it interrupts her routine.
Yesterday I was sitting downstairs watching "Good Morning America" in my robe just enjoying the fact that I didn't have to go to work and could sit in my robe all day if I wanted to. My MIL was pacing back and forth on the upstairs landing, reminiscent of a caged animal waiting to pounce, obviously confused as to why I was home! She finally came down and asked me how I was feeling. I told her I wasn't sick just "home for the holidays"! I realized that I was totally disrupting her routine since the only time I am home from work is if I am sick.
In an earlier post, I mentioned her wanting to get gifts for her friends at the center (Senior Citizen Center). My husband, being the great cook that he is, had decided we could make no bake oatmeal cookies for her take. I was sitting in the kitchen with my daughter while she showed me pictures on facebook talking to my husband as he got ready to start making cookies. We had a front row seat to watch my MIL as she tried to help my husband prepare her "gifts".
As is the case every evening when we are preparing meals, she comes in and asks to help. Now, this is the woman who NEVER cooked a meal when my husband was old enough to cook thus the reason he is such a good cook.
Anyway, she came in and asked if she could help in typical fashion. When he told her we were going to make something for her to take to her friends, she got so excited I thought she was going to have a breakdown. She paced around the island that he was working on desperately trying to help. She kept asking if she could wash a pot, throw away an empty container, or stir something. Each time he patiently told her he didn't need her help yet Now, we have two girls who loved to help mom and dad in the kitchen during holiday baking and I remember how much they wanted to stir something, sit on the counter, or lick a beater. She acted just like they did at 4 or 5 when they were helping us in the kitchen. The only difference, my MIL didn't ask to lick the beater. But, she probably wanted to though!
After the cookies cooled my husband told her she could help by putting 8 cookies in each bag. I watched her as she struggled to count to eight and remember how many she had already put in a bag. The cookies were laid on a piece of foil to cool (we ran out of parchment paper) and you could see where the cookies had laid. In the middle of her count she would count the places on the foil to see if she had the right number. With each bag she would ask if she was supposed to be putting eight cookies in the bag. We reassured her that was correct. It is so childlike how she gained confidence just like a small child does when your encouraging words boost their self esteem.
Once all the bags were stuffed she appeared to gloat at what she had accomplished. My husband helped her put all eleven bags into her orange recyclable bag so she could take them the next day. She kept coming in the kitchen afterwards to see where we had put the cookies and each time my husband reminded her where they were. He hung the bag on the front door so she would see them when she left.
As I was enjoying my lazy morning today, my MIL came down the stairs as she does every morning waiting for the Senior Citizen Center bus to come get her. At 9:03 they drove up, gave a honk, and she went running out. My daughter, who had not seen her get on the bus yet, watched from the front door. She said, "Mom, who is Grandy supposed to be giving the cookies to?" I said, "her friends at the center." She said, "Mom, she is passing them out on the bus!" I ran to look out the window and sure enough we could see her passing them out to everyone on the bus and the bus was full. There are usually only about 2-3 other riders but today there were about 7-8. We realized then that she probably didn't remember who she had planned to give them to but all in all it made her feel better thinking she had a gift to give her friends at the Center.
I can't help but think back to the meeting with the counselor when she had her testing done and her response to the question about her goals. Her only goal was to live alone and be able to take care of herself. I am reminded on these occasions that she just wants to be able to do things for herself.
Cookies for the Center........life is good over the hill!
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